I complain about a lot of people, and a lot of things. Its SAFE to say that i’m not an optimistic person. I don’t/won’t ever claim to be. I think i’m very hard on myself.. its not uncommon. What is uncommon is that I still feel like i’m doing nothing in my life. I wish my life was extravagant.. i wish my life could result to something more interesting.
I would love to try to hold myself to an expectation.. but the trust is I don’t have any.
I would like to though soo. lets plan out my life or like the way i would like my life to result in. i would love to become an instagram model but sadly i’m not pretty enough for that. I would like to be famous.. but for something I love. I want those followers, i want the life style but before that I want to lose weight. Not for anyone else but me. I would like to become fit, i think thats a better way of putting it. I want to be comfortable in my own body. I want to feel like i’ve accomplished something. instead… i feel like i’ve been doing nothing. My life doesn’t have to about to much to other people, but this is all for ME. I don’t think skinny is beautiful, but i think being fit is. i think being comfortable in your own body is. I think loving yourself is.
I’m not going to every understand why people can harm their bodies.. But i can’t ever judge them for it either. if you’re ever feeling like that please please please get help. You know one of my friends just committed suicide, and it has been talked about.. she has been glorified. Only for 1 day though. She had a bright future, if you’re doing it for the glory don’t. It isn’t worth it, because you’re so much more useful alive than dead.
Lets side track-SOOO many people mistake following a trend and a tree that you like. If you’re totally miserable in what you’re doing.. DONT do it. Thats when you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, if you’re seeing things and thinking i need to look like that so someone will like me.. don’t do it. Do it if after all of it you’re going to look back and say wow i’m so happy and i;ve changed my life for me. If it doesn’t help you in the long run, if it doesn’t make you happy every step of the way don’t do it. Do it for you.