No one knows what goes on in my mind but me..
You can’t know what i’m thinking, and you can’t make assumptions about how I think and what are behind my actions.
I wish i could trust more, I wish i didn’t freak out as much, and I wish i could control my thoughts..
People say i can.. but part of me doesn’t want to. Some of me likes it when my mind wanders and takes me to different places
People tell me to calm down.. but theres a rush i get when i get fired up. I love to feel emotions. I love crying, i love yelling, and i love making a big deal out of things. I love the rush i don’t get to feel so much… I just need to control it.
I don’t need to make all my energy good.. I can be bad.. i can be mean, i can cry.. i can’t hurt. I need the emotion to survive. I need people to understand that and not only love me when i’m only happy.. or cheerful.
I should get better at this.. but i should go into more detail in my next post. Its hard to explain