Moving on is so hard. I can’t bare to watch the person I loved for so long fall involve with someone else. The person I thought i was going to love forever. The person who had fallen outta love with me. The person who hurt me is so many different ways, who made me cry more than 3x a month. The one who took something that was once so precious to me.
You made me feel so lonely, you made me feel worthless you would ignore me. You would tell me what and what not to do. You made me feel so guilty for things i shouldn’t have felt guilty for. You made my self esteem go from 6 to 0. Yet i still love you.. i still want to be with you.. I want your attention.
Heres why. You made me fall for you. You were sweet sometimes. Whenever we start fighting you would conveniently say “I love you” and it would all go away. I know the drill. You made me feel warm and special you didn’t listen to me but you pretended to. You just got mad when i caught on.
I don’t know why i still want your attention. I don’t know why i freaked out so much on you. I don’t know why you belittled me so much, you would call me a “slut, cunt” even though you were my first everything. Even my first real makeup . If you ever happen to read this, please don’t treat your new significant other like this. treat her like she could die tomorrow.
Despite anything… Thank you. Thank you for loving me for the moments that were really good. Thank you for being my first. Thank you for letting me know i deserve better
I am happy for you. If you find true love i am happy for you i have no more to cry about because i’m numb i love you i always will. be careful